A text from a friend. Asking me to come to the hospital.
Not a burst appendix. Not a car accident.
Self-harm.
It's not surprising. There were signs and I tried to counsel my friend before she did what she did.
There was no anger. No, "You've got so much to live for! Why didn't you talk to your friends, to me, more?"
It takes one to know one.
One's life isn't inherently worthwhile. One may be a friendly, productive, contributing member of society but if those contributions aren't fulfilling to the individual, the hangman's necktie starts looking pretty sexy. On the other hand, a lazy, selfish bum may derive great joy at being able to get up one more day, go down to his favorite gas station to hustle for some change, flirt with a couple of neighborhood girls despite having few prospects and fewer teeth, and say, "Hey...no mansion...but no mortgage...!"
Suicide is the ultimate expression of "I want change NOW" and "I deserve change NOW"
Well...life is like the stock market. There are ups and downs.
When one is kicking butt at her job, or in a great relationship with his spouse, that person isn't thinking, "OK, hurry up with this so we can get to the firing or the domestic abuse." Why should we think that we should have never-ending happiness if we're not equally willing to have never-ending unhappiness?
So, it's good to be aware that the old refrain "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" isn't just some silly social worker jingle. Things do change. Just not as quickly as we'd like. It comes when we change our actions and our reactions...slowly but surely. The universe is in no hurry to grant our desires, and it won't do us any favors until we WORK at it.
Which brings us to point number two, "I deserve change NOW". Do you? Or are you doing the same things over and over again and wondering why people don't recognize your brilliance, or why your bank balance is pitifully low?
Well--do you read? And do your conversations indicate a working brain? Are you even talking to people?
And--Are you able to delay gratification? Do you suffer, and then learn from, the consequences of bad spending decisions? Do you work as hard and as smart at your job(s) as you could?
Some questions to ponder.
In any event, I'm going to work with my friend to help her accomplish the changes she wants in her life. I want her to be happy. I want her to think differently and act differently. She deserves a re-do. We all do.
